Jolly Viking part 14


Baltic Sea, 58°14’8.87″N 18°57’48.22″E, Russian sub 1634 zulu.

Russian Kilo-class sub B-227 Vyborg was laying in the bottom of Baltic Sea between Gotska Sandö and main land Sweden. It has been there three days waiting for orders and listening traffic around it. They had laid a mine field that was one pull away to pop up near the surface. Atmosphere was tense and the air was thick. During the nights they slowly got up their snorkel to refresh it but the days they were just sitting like an empty hole. They were using an old iron boat wreck as a cover, the Swedish Navy was pinging their coastal area hard, one depth charge would have meant their end. Gladly the Swedish Navy was more on the south side of Gotland after the decoy subs and watching more the Åland region. This was meant to be the second mother-fucking surprise. If you gona annex something, annex so much than you can…

Near Gotska Sandö, civilian transport vessel 1645 zulu.

Russian container ship Vasily Konev was a middle-sized, low water line container ship with a 46 ton crane. It had left St. Peterburg few days ago heading to Lübeck with full load, 127 containers with various stuff. The transport papers said that wheat, alcohol, industrial spare parts and other bulk stuff. These kinda ships were sailing at Baltic Sea like 12 a day or more. Very usual sight. But this time the vessel was load in a closed harbor area in the middle of the night under heavy foggy weather and FSB protection. Containers were sealed, nobody knew what was inside those, except the Captain and some others. They were sailing under Panama flag and the crew was mainly Filipinos who didn’t ask too many questions. It had been sailing slowly in the cold December and windy Baltic Sea and they have informed a slight engine problem one day ago but said that they can fix it but need to get closer to the coastline. It was now some 20 miles NE from Gotska Sandö and the Russian Navy column with 4 large landing ships and strong escort was 30 miles to SE. That was the one that all thought was going to Åland…

Gotska Sandö. Gotlands Sand Island. It was a 5 km long and 4 km wide small 40 meter high island with good tree cover and perfect view around it. There was only few inhabitants, weather station and lighthouse. It was a national park so there was no military. Swedish Navy patrolled there sometimes but since Swedes were more concentrated on Gotland, that was only few miles to SW from Gotska, they didn’t consider it as target. And why would they, it was small, no electricity, infrastructure or buildings. Just a sand island were birds loved to live on summer and make more birds. Besides they though it would be easy to defend from land with fighters and Navy from the sea.


SE from Gotska Sandö…

The Russian Naval column had 4 Ropucha class landing ships. These were 122m long ships that could carry 450 ton cargo. That was like 10 T-90’s and 340 troops or variations like artillery, ammo, self-propelled anti-aircraft, cargo, supplies, trucks. They could drive straight to the shore and unload to the beach on the run. They didn’t need docks. They have had some radio traffic with their HQ at Åland and done some other moves that make everyone guessing they were on the way there. Well, one Ropucha was going there but three others wasn’t. And a container ship wasn’t going to Lübeck either…

Also SE from Gotska Sandö…

Swedish sub HSwMS Gotland was following the Russian naval column silently. It was on full battle stations, their last orders was to wait the Beklinge group 103’s attack and then launch torpedoes to sink as many vessels they could. But now they have received new orders to stand by and just follow them from a safe distance. The Swedish command got scared after the massive Iskander strike against Finland and was afraid that Russia could launch something similar to Swedish soil. To get your civilians killed for sinking enemy ships… it was complicated and they didn’t want to take that risk. Besides they thought the destination was Åland that was already annexed. And the Finn’s couldn’t attack that group either, it was still too far from Finnish ASM’s. And their air force couldn’t penetrate Russia’s air defence. And since Russia didn’t show any major hostile actions against NATO, they couldn’t do anything either. They were monitoring heavily but that was all.

-Commander, our sonar is getting weird noises, sounds like someone is letting massive bubbles and other noise to hide that column.

-Gas pipe? Is it leaking?

-No, it’s more controlled, like opening a vent and closing it.

-Ah yes, they have those in that pipe. And now they are using it as a decoy and scrambler. Do they know we are following them?

-Passive listening devices? Magnetic sensors?

-Possible. Okay, turn 90 degrees, go lower under the second layer and full stop. Lets wait there. Keep torpedoes ready.


Russian Navy column, near Gotska Sandö 1655 zulu.

Russian frigate Boiky was one of the latest Russian new war ships and was the leading vessel for that column. It had some stealth capabilities and latest radar and weapon technology from anti-torpedo stuff to anti-ship missiles, S-400 missiles, navy cannon that could follow 4 targets at the same time and even a helicopter. It was also getting all information from Russian satellites and HQ’s intel, other ships and subs, drones. And it was in contact with that container ship via secured channel. And what was a secured channel anyway? Pre-planned messages via open channels work even better…

-Captain, Konev says it’s ready to scratch its balls.

-Ha ha… okay, send them that ”it shrinks in cold water”. Then go to marine VHF channel 56. Keep listening.

-Da sir. Alert the crew?

-Not yet. Just check is the Antonov airborne.

There was a Kaliningrad Naval Infantry  company airborne on route to Åland. It was going to be the first unit at Gotska Sandö. 98 combat sappers. There was always a slight possibility that Sweden has mined the waterline and the weather station had to be silenced or taken over, there was good comms there. These guys had been in Ukraine killing people and were in other Russian hybrid dirty places. War proven troops. Professionals.

The Russians had made a plan, a dirty plan that the transport vessel Kovev will suddenly make an emergency transmission about an engine fail and a leak and that it need immediate help. Then the Russian Navy column will respond and as it was the closest unit, they will be there first. Then they will drive that container ship full ahead to the Gotska Sandö’s sand beach. And Russian landing ships will do the same, the war ships will cover and surround the Island and make a anti-aircraft and anti-ship, anti-submarine defense around it. The Russian kilo-class submarine will pop up the minefield and start patrolling around that Island too. The container ship will have lots of ammo, food and water supplies and Russian container missile systems like 3M-54Klub ”Kalibr” that was anti-ship, land attack and anti-sub missile system. The missiles range varied from 50km to 2500km. They were nuclear capable and had 500kg payload. Other containers had also smaller missiles and anti-aircraft stuff, it was truly a powerful load. They also had a plan to use some of the containers as bunkers and living quarters. And that ship itself was a powerhouse to generate electricity, to be used as a command post etc. They were making that Island a fortress. And they trusted that Sweden would hesitate to attack them since they could reach from Kaliningrad with Iskanders to Stockholm, main air bases, nuclear plants etc. And Sweden had its main defence at Gotland, 5km SW. They could reach easily with their weapons there but then they would be in open war with Russia. And Russia would send massive retaliation to Gotland, even annex it, like Åland. Without NATO membership things were always complicated. Especially against a nuclear weapon state and massively bigger in military. Russia also thought that Sweden’s NATO membership will be impossible if they create Crimea kinda situation against Sweden also. But since Sweden has already NATO troops, the Norwegians and some Danes on their soil, it wasn’t quite sure how it could go… hybrid was gona hit the fan…

Meanwhile in social media…

”omg russia so stronk! We are victorious and show finski nazies that you dont mess with us! We come and kill youre president too. Putin will be Holy Martyr of Novorossiya and finland ours again! You worthless scum try to betray us, you was be to suppose our freind, our comrades! you chose wronks now. you pay!”

”While I don’t quite understand why Russia had to use so many missiles against Finland, I strongly understand their interests to secure their borders and agree on the pre-emptive strike theory. It is such a shame to see how fast a European nation like Finland have managed to mess up its political system and become such an racist country…”

”BREAKING! Here is a leaked target list for Russias next missile strike in Sweden, they are going to wipe out Stockholm! click > wwm.rebdit.swedentargetlistleak < yes this is authorized, even Snowden says it is official!…”

”Speechless. This dog trying to wake up his best friend and owner, a 10 year old girl who got killed in the Russian missile strike. Over 3 million views now on youtube…”

”wassap wit the rumours that russki rockets was launched by a renegade general? my friend from moscow said that kremlin is furious and that it was not deliberate shit?”

”WW3 has started. This is Alex Jones from tinfoil factory. People, seek shelter and lock and load. The end times has started. You who have been prepared: you have been right. The weak will vanish and the strong will survive. Our mission and vision has been always right, destruction is the key…”

”All you west puppets and Nato lovers are screaming that Russia has attacked but hey, you remember Iraq when USA killed over 2 million…”

”War is Peace. Popcorn and beer. Anyone has some live cam links to share???”

”Finland wanted to be neutral. So let them be. We should not send them any military help, they were not ready to send it to us so this is the fact. Moral? geopolitics has no morals…”

”Finland? Were the fuck is Finland?”


NATO HQ, Brussles, 1703 zulu.

-Sir, a SOS message from a container ship at Baltic Sea. Vasily Konev!

-What’s it saying? It’s Russian?

-Engine failure, taking water, needs immediate help.

-We have ships there? Send immediately!

-We have but the Russian Navy column is much closer and has respond to that. They are going to help it. Frigate Boiky and others had turned to its course. It is near Gotska Sandö.

-Gotska Sandö… that small Island north from Gotland?

-Yes. They possibly need to sail that vessel there, shallow sand coast…

-Holy shit… they are not going to Åland… they are going there! Have you called Sweden?

-Yes, they also respond to the message but Russians said not to get near, they will handle it. They are flying Sukhois over it now. And also heavy radar activity. Looks like Russia is scanning Swedish air force…

-Scramble Typhoons and intel planes, also drive our vessels closer. Have we subs on the area?

-Yes, one German and one Holland sub. Should we drive them there?

-No. Go near Kaliningrad. Lets see if there’s some more surprises. And keep eye on Danish Straits. There some Arleigh Burtons coming to the area. Also British destroyers. And scare that one Russian sub away from that area. Use what ever you need.

-Yes sir.

-And call White House!


Swedish Navy HQ’s 1704 zulu.

-Flottiljamiral! Russians are going to Gotska Sandö!

-Va helvete… Impossible!

-Look, they are turning the fleet and listen this radio traffic…

-…container ship sending SOS and Russians are rushing to help… with 10 vessels and airforce… oh shit they are so clever. They probably have a media crew making a live feed of that rescue operation, check RT channel…

-Sir, it was just on Russian news that a ship is sinking at Baltic Sea and that their Navy is rescuing it.

-Just what I thought. And they put that on air before anything has sunk. We can’t attack Russians now. Shit. Contact our government, we need to get this live also. And alarm everything to that area, get some eyes to the sky and cameras!

-Amiral, what if they land on the island? That is an act of war?

-Yes it is. But if they drive that container ship to the coast, it is a civilian vessel. By the sea law they are allowed to help. It should be our job but they won’t let us in… call NATO and our intel, what do we know about that container ship… if it is a decoy, then it is military…

-…and we can hit it.

-Precisely. And take a call to Beklinge. Our 103 might have a job to do…

-Sir. You need to see this latest message…

-What… halt all Navy actions at Gotskä Sandö. Repeat, don’t react to Russian Navy at Gotska Sandö. Next message coming…

-That is from the top, Joint Staff Command with the Finns. Beklinge has new orders too.

-Get me a line to the Joint Staff.

-Yes sir.

Navy HQ was in heat. You could call it a chaos. War is chaos. He who controls it best, wins. Usually. And that was something you need to train constantly. Chaos. Because things will go always not like they are planned. That’s why Russia was able to surprise Finland and Sweden, the whole NATO. They knew what chaos was. The collapse of USSR taught them good. Also Chechnya, Dagestan, Afghanistan…

-Flottiljamiral Nordbeck nol två fyra fyra fem åtta.

-Amiral Ericsson, good to hear you Staffan. You have been busy there at Karlskrona?

-You can say that. Russians are going to Gotska Sandö, not Åland as we thought.

-Yes. We know that. There is also an airborne landing unit approaching, Kaliningrad naval infantry, one plane roughly a company from 879th battalion. But in those Ropucha’s are AA missile battery, BUK’s, then one tank platoon, T-90’s and two platoons with BTR’s with the 30mm cannon. And Bastion coastal missile unit.

-Holy shit, they are planning to hold it tight.

-Yes. But the container ship… that is loaded with stuff. It has Kalibr missiles, ammo, AA missiles, generators… we don’t know exactly, we had this intel report from Leningrad docks about the loading, it is the key here. It is a decoy and military transport at the same time.

-So we can attack against it?

-Yes. But we have a new plan for it. The Finns would do it.


-We give them support, Beklinge 103 will cover Finns F-18 Hornets and our EW stuff will make a hell of a radar storm and blind the Russians. Finns are already airborne and fully loaded, JASSM’s, RBS 15’s, JDAM’s and few other things. Two squadrons, 28 birds. 103 is also airborne, they are now minus 7 minutes from attack line.

-You knew this all the time Ericsson… you sneaky bastard…

-We thought the possibility of Gotska and made this plan in case. Finns are furious and want to revenge, this is a very good opportunity and doesn’t make Sweden as the aggressor. Well, we might sink the Russian sub Vyborg that has laid a minefield near Gotska. Our passive sensors picked that bastard two days ago, your job is to do that. But do it like it looks it blows itself accidentally or something. Use the stealth torpedo? All our intel is now sent to your HQ. Remember, it is top-secret.

-So Finn’s are going to level down the Russian column and container ship. In 7 minutes… It means that they won’t reach the coast of Gotska…

-Precisely. We want to sink them into cold Baltic Sea. Russians hit Finnish civilians with Iskanders. They are going to pay. Then we send in our Amphibious unit and make that island a bastion. This strike will wipe out Baltic Fleets capability of any other landing operations.

-Javvist Herr Amiral. This is a plan I like.

-Bra. Now let’s get ready, the clock is running…

Somewhere over Sweden, Finnish AF squadron leader Major Pekkala in his F-18 Hornet 1719 zulu

Flying low at night with a full weapon load wasn’t the easiest task Major Pekkala has had. But he was flying like an angry dream, all his moves were precise and optimized, just like a top Formula one driver. Finns were good at sports were was speed and danger to die. They were born to these kinda situations. Slow Finns… yeah right. He checked his weapon systems, everything was ready. His squadron was going first, they will launch long-range missiles and then ripple fire AMRAAM’s against Russian Sukhois that patrol over Gotska Sandö. Then after the missiles had hit, 28 will be fired, if 50% will hit, the column will be paralyzed and sinking, then the second squadron was coming to finish the job with precise bombings and few missiles. And then vanish to the dark night under Swedish radar cover.

Surprises. It was all about surprises…

… – – – …

To be continued… 😉








Jolly Viking part 14

Jolly Viking part 13.


”What use is machine guns and grenades against missiles? To control the riots that come afterwards?”

Unknown message in twitter after 8th December 2017

Finnish Army HQ, secret bunker near Helsinki 1602 zulu.

-General Kaski, here is the list of hits what we know so far. All our oil harbors are burning. Yle broadcasting is hit, in the middle of the news. 2 million watchers saw it. Vekaranjärvi garrison took two hits, ammo dump is on fire and at least 250 dead, half of them reservists. Kymi-river is flooding towards Kotka, three important bridges are down, railway yard in Helsinki and Tampere is hit, trains are on fire, lots of casualties. Navy lost four ships at Upinniemi…

-Thank you Captain. Keep me informed. Hows the Helsinki airport?

-They hit the main fuel dump, it’s on fire and the blast wave smashed all windows, few dead, lots of casualties. Internet is full of videos of that fire. Lots of tourists and foreigners. Spreading like wild fire.

-Radars working?

-Yes. 4 passenger planes damaged, one is burning down. They managed to get the people out though.

-At least some good news… good. What am I talking…

-Our prime-minister was at the YLE broadcasting center. We haven’t find him yet. His cellphone doesn’t answer.

-Why they didn’t hit us? Or more military targets?

-We believe this was just a first strike. To show what they are capable. And they wanted it to look big. International markets are skyrocketing, oil prices, gas, gold…

-…and our people are shitting in their pants. Any news from NATO HQ?

-They have send data from flight trajectories, locations, it was the 24th Missile Brigade. And they are deeply sorry and are ready to send humanitarian help immediately. United Nations has condemned Russia’s actions and are having a crises meeting. Also EU leaders have condemned this strongly.

-Let me guess. Sanctions. But nothing more.

-Too early to make conclusions…

-We are not NATO member. They can’t respond with war. And we can’t hit inside Russia. We have no capability. And if we hit, they hit us back 10 times stronger. What’s the reports from the border?

-Russian special operation group has taken the Saimaa canal and holding it. Also the Vuoksi area. Two regiments. Kantemirovska Tank Division is on the gates of Lappeenranta, they are surrounding it. Rumors of VDV moving with a train towards Kouvola region. But in the south they have not crossed the border, just shooting illumination rounds and using drones. At north in Lappland just some drone and recon action.

-Our Hornets managed to get to Sweden?

-Yes, one was lost, mechanical failure, pilot ejected. 15 planes are still under maintenance in bunkers at Kuopio.

-How fast those will be ready?

-6 hours. The Russian radar activity is very high…

-Of course it is. We can keep those birds and use them like kamikaze’s but what’s the use? Take out few tanks? Or one radar? If they manage to get through Russian missile defense…

-What do we do with the rest in Sweden?

-Defend our airspace against hostile action.

-Like Iskanders…

-Yes. Like Iskanders…


Finnish President with his crew, AMV near Helsinki 1603 zulu.

Finnish president Sauli Niinistö was with his crew sitting in a AMV somewhere near Helsinki, in a backyard of a old gas station. His adjutant was reading updates from the Iskander missile strike. Secretary was crying slowly. Two bodyguards were outside securing the area. Driver was pulling a camo net over the vehicle. Empty plastic bag was drifting through the wind…

-President, estimated casualties are over 500 dead now. We have lost national communications on TV, they are pulling up secondary Tampere now, should be up in one hour. Radio is working.

-Was the HQ hit?

-No. Should we go there?

-No. Let’s wait here. Have you find my government?

-Most of them, they are at the bunker in the parliament building.

-Right. Okay… so let’s… have you any news from… fuck. Please secretary, can you stop crying?! We need to make some phone calls!

-O…okay sir. Right away sir.

-Try find prime minister. And call to Sweden. Tell that I am still in charge here. Good.

-Mr. President, looks like two missiles have hit ships, container and tanker. They are blocking two harbor routes. One missile has hit a civilian neighborhood, here’s a video, it looks like spiraling, malfunction possibly…

-This is a nightmare. What have we done to earn this?

-Yes sir. It is a very coward move. Shall we declare a war?

-War. With what? How is our mobilization going?

-Three battalions formed, few companies are ready. Air force is now in Sweden like we have planned.

-And Russian Tank division is already at Lappeenranta. And we have lost our airspace, oil harbors, broadcasting, they can cut our internet, roads, bridges… War. With what? The whole idea was that we have a strong enough defense that they won’t dare to go for war…

-Yes. But we didn’t count for surprise attack.

-And why? Because we knew we won’t survive that? We played these war games like arrogant schoolboys? Like some stupid ice-hockey games?

-With all respect sir, Army officers have told you that NATO membership…

-Shut the fuck up! I know that. But Putin said to me that if we seek membership he will retaliate. That he must. Geopolitics. Geopolitics! He forced us to neutrality!

-Yes sir. Are we neutral now?

Ice cold silence. It was already dark, a pale green light was illuminating the space. Geopolitics. Magic word without no humanity. A world where rape is just a intercourse, fist in your face just a normality and knife in the back just surgical operation…

-Sir, your phone… some one is calling.

-What… oh, yes, thank you… Hello. President Niinistö.

-Allo allo. President of Rossiyask Federatsiya Sergey Shoigu here. Can you hear me?

-Hallo… what? Shoigu? Can you confirm? Where is Putin?

-Putin? He is in coma. You can see my number on the phone. Check it. And my ambassador in Helsinki is sending a text message to your secretary right now. It should say that this is authentic.

-Secretary… can you check your phone… a text message…

-…yes, here it is. It is authentic.

-Da, okay. Hallo Mr. president Shoigu. This is Finland’s president Sauli Niinistö. You have attacked us.

-Hello to you too Sauli. Da, we have had to use some force to retaliate your cowardish act in Moscow today.

-But it was not us! You know this!

-We can’t trust you right now. Our sources say different story. Anyhow, situation is what it is, da?

-Situation? Or do we call this war?

-War? I don’t think so, yet. Or what do you think? Are we in war?

-War… well… at least this is a very serious conflict!

-Conflict, yes. Serious? Can be. But it is not yet. We can make this much more serious.

-Much more?! You have killed my people, destroyed ships and harbors, annexed Saimaa canal and a Tank division is surrounding one of my cities! And Åland… you have annexed Åland! This is very serious Mr. Shoigu!

-Serious? Was Georgia 2008 serious? You remember what your foreign minister said then? He said that Georgia attacked Russia. And Crimea? Serious? What did you said then?

-I said that I condemn heavily…

-No. You said that you hope that Russia and Ukraine will find a peaceful solution to the problem.

-No, we said that…

-It doesn’t matter what you said. World doesn’t give a fuck what Finland says. World gives a fuck to our nukes and our interests. That is what matters.

-But you have attacked EU. That is clearly…

-…a violation? Of what? You think we haven’t thought about that? Besides, we haven’t attack NATO.

-We had an agreement with Putin that he won’t use force against us. He…

-…is not in power now. Because you attacked him.

-We didn’t attack him!

-Try to say that to the World media. Your citizens Backman and Putkonen has confessed. The video is going around the globe now.

-They won’t believe it! It is a lie!

-Look, you should have learn from history. You Finn’s lied to your people about our military pact during Cold War, your people thought that you were independent when you were not. You were targeted by NATO those days but you keep lying yourselves that you were neutral. The lie turned to truth. The more you try to deny it, the more it gets true.

-But that was then. Now is now. New world with internet and free media!

-We know this. We control half of it. We are the conversationalists. We rule the tinfoil people. They are very active. And crazy… but nevertheless, they fill half of the free media stuff nowadays. You see, the era of monopolist world or USA hegemony is over. We will get back to the polarized world. China and we will be the one pole and USA the other. And just like in Cold War, we will be the bad guys in Wests eyes, and opposite. So, if we are the bad guys, so be it. Let’s be bad big. The world must fear us.

-You are not sounding good Mr. Shoigu… this is not humanity talking…

-We don’t give a shit. This is business. Da? You want to do business or talk about love and puppies?

-Business… we had a lot of business with you. Why you destroyed it?

-Destroyed it? Nah, we haven’t destroyed it… yet. Besides you give yourself too much credit. Your export business to us is 0,5%. That is less than peanuts. But to you it is more than 60%. That is an elephant in living room. You should not have all eggs in one basket. Especially when you can’t protect the eggs.

-We have done everything Russia has asked. Why are you paying us like this? We were a good partner…

-Love and puppies again Mr. Niinistö. Like  I said, world know that we are a huge country with nukes, oil and gas. Now they know also that we have to be taken seriously. Deadly serious. Putin with his lover Medvedev were too soft. They have to go. Our people respect force. Everyone respects force. You should have join NATO when you could.

-But Russia said that they won’t respect that decision and that it would harm our relationships!

-Ha ha ha… yes, of course. But would we have attacked NATO? You think we can use force against much stronger force? You had your opportunity but you fucked that up. Sweden is going into NATO though, can’t prevent that… well, maybe. But that’s not relevant now.

-We will call NATO here to Finland to help us!

-No you won’t. And they won’t come. They can’t help militarily a country that is not a member. It would demolish the whole idea of the coalition. They will be then attacking Russia and we can nuke Europe. And USA. And they won’t accept a member who is already in war or conflict with Russia.

-Mr. Shoigu… what do you want? Why are you doing this?

-What do we want? You know… well, the thing is that Baltic Sea must be ours. Finland can’t be neutral. You need to sign a pact with us. And Åland must become independent.

-What?! A military pact?

-Not necessarily a military pact. We need to be sure that you don’t join NATO. And then we need some areas for military. Just some minor things. Like harbor or two, some missile defense in Lapland. And Åland can make its own decisions. The Saimaa canal must be ours, you can use it for terrorist purposes. And the areas to Kymijoki become a demilitarized zone. We will have a peace keeping force there until the agreements are made. And when the deal is signed, we will pull out our troops, capish?

-This is nuts, our government won’t accept…

-We have a pretty heavy list of corrupted members in your government. We can go public with that. We have also some good material of your discussions with Mr. Putin… some heavy stuff… your government will fall in two days. And you with it. And this missile strike was just our first. You see, we don’t even need to drive our other troops inside your territory. We can and maybe we will, but not necessarily. We haven’t even use our air force yet. You can be either a peacemaker or war starter.

-But you won’t annex us?

-Annex? Why in earth? This is year 2016. Why destroy a beautiful country when it comes your best friend… again. Our people love the datchas there. So peaceful and no crime… If we annex your country it would become another Russkij gorat, drunk toothless criminals and whining babushkas…

-Mr. Shoigu. Can you send some details. We need to discuss with this…

-Certainly. Our Ambassador has a list, he will show it to you, just drive back to Helsinki. Must be lonely to sit in a AMV behind a old gas station eh?

-How the hell you know that we…

-Come on. Don’t be stupid. We know you better than yourself. You better hurry, we have send a cruise missile to that gas station. It will hit in 22 minutes…

-You mother fucker…

-Well, need to give you some motivation Mr. President. Davai, davai Sauli! No time to waste!

-Fuck you Shoigu! Driver! We move now! Fast! Perkele… and every one, turn off your phones and pads!


Swedish Army HQ, secret bunker somewhere 1608 zulu.

-General, message from our government!

-Give it here… what? Stop all military preparations against Russian forces. Repeat: stop all military preparations… Jävla. I knew it.

-The missile strike sir? They can hit Sweden too?

-Yes. They are afraid it can be done here too. Call Beklinge, the 103, tell that go to stand by. And Navy also. The sub that is following the Russian navy column. Also go easy with radars.

-Yes sir.

-What’s the use of neutrality against a country that has missiles, rockets and nukes…

-What sir?

-Just that… we need NATO troops on our soil and fast.

-Sir, the Norwegians are already at north, also their air force is here. Danish ships are in south near our border.

-Good, make that public and make sure that they are NATO troops. And that it is a drill. Peace securing operation.

-Sir, we have a message from Åland also.

-What? Who?

-It’s the Governor, he says that everything is under control and that Russians are not hostile.

-What the fuck? Is he kidnapped?

-He says no and here’s a picture with him talking with some Russian military personnel and smiling…

-This doesn’t sound good… is that viral?

-Yes, it is going around social media. He says also to his people that calm down and that Russia is only here temporarily. Some kinda mistake with Finns he says.

-Oh my good. This is smelling just like Crimea…

-Should we send some intel?

-Just monitor, see what the people think in social media.

-Is this a coup?

-Coup, annexation, conspiracy… whatever it is, it is going to be bad for us. What is our capability to shoot down Iskanders?

-We have something…

-Put that all in high alert. Also Air Defense. Call NATO can we have radar data and some early warning stuff… in case…

-Yes sir.

-And call Finland. Are they going to retaliate or what. There’s a slight change that they might surrender… poor bastards…

-Why they would surrender?

-To loose a war but keep independence. The Winter War miracle. They are no match for Russia. That was clearly shown today. Russia isn’t going in with full force yet. They are just scaring them first. That’s why we have the Jolly Viking plan.

-Jolly Viking?

-The secret NATO paper. We have to join to stop Russia from advancing to Atlantic. Norway is too thin line. And our people won’t oppose NATO membership now. They will beg our government to join.

-Too sad the Finn’s can’t join…

-Yes. It’s the Cold War line again. Glad that the Baltics are safe though…

-It is going to be a bloody cold winter.

-Javvist. Exceptionally cold…


… – – – …

The motherfucking saga continues… 😉

This is fiction. All right reserved. Even the bad english… 🙂

…to be continued. follow on twitter >

Jolly Viking part 13.

Jolly Viking X files, deleted scenes, bonus tracks…

NATO BALTSECCOM, Latvia Zvirbuli AB 1230 zulu.

Air base was busy. You could hear the fighters coming and going. Afterburners made the bunkers wall vibrate. Operation room was noisy. All kinda radios were on and you could smell the tense air. Polish ASACS officer Wera Sliwinska was giving orders with good Oxford English. Italian Fighter Wing 63rd Typhoon pilots were listening very concentrated. Two of them were also pilots in the Frecce Tricolori aerobatics team.

-We have now AWACS over Poland. That is now taking command over Baltic air space. That is priority one. We are second. We monitor, they control. Alright then, get ready, six planes QRA the other six in 1 hour readiness. Any questions, ask your wing master. Dismiss!

Colonel-Major Sliwinska was an excellent MiG-29 pilot. After certain age pilots were moved to ground units and AWACS and other multiple posts in intelligence, command and control etc. She was now helping the intel department that had three big birds, intel drones over the Baltic sky. Two were passive and one was reading Baltic Fleet signals and the other was reading Russian west side, Pskov and Luga region. The third was much higher and read whole south Finland to Leningrad and from Gotland to Aland. They all were working on slightly different bands and modes and they gathered the information from these intel birds and made a one big picture. They also had satellites, ground radars, AWACS was feeding them too, NATO Baltic Fleet was on the net etc. The amount of data was enormous. And they had trained this in the busiest areas in the world like London, New York, Germany. They were some high-tech brains and as pilots, they knew exactly what the blinking dot meant and how to react to it…

Russia, Obinsk 28th Missile Division 1204 zulu

-General! Flash message! Category A!

28th Missile Division was silo based unit that had 12 SS-19 Stilettos, long-range ICBM’s with multiple war heads under ground that could reach to Florida. The were one of the units that were meant to be a ”retaliation force” after the possibly first strike to Russia. They could also be launched as first strike weapons but as it was under constant surveillance from satellites, it couldn’t do it secretly. It was 100km from Moscow to SW and there was also other military units on that area. That area was basically all military with supporting logistic and railway systems, air defense units, highly classified military intelligence units, Tank Brigade just few miles to north etc. All the industry on that area was only to support this missile division. Commander Colonel Valeriy Kasyanov took the printed message and went nervous…

-Order silos 1,2 and 3 to open their hatches. Do not start filling the fuel. Just open the hatches.

It seems that Kreml wanted to show USA and president Clinton that they can play this game also. The satellites above them will send the message in real-time.

-Order full alarm on base. Battle stations. Close the area. Get me a car and driver. I’ll go to the silos myself. Get security company ready, they will go with me.

-Da colonel.

Operation officer Major Kitainova start giving orders to the radio net, opened a manual and started reading the check list. It was a relief that they were not ordered to start fueling those big bastards but what were the orders to 7 other Missile Divisions? Or Navy, Air Force and land forces nuclear troops?

Finland, Skärgårdshavets Marinkommando, Pansio 1324 zulu.

Big interactive screen was showing the Baltic Sea area from Stockholm to Turku, Finland. Åland was there in the middle. All kinda lines, dots, symbols, circles, letters were filling the screen that was the only light source in the underground Naval bunker… oh, except other smaller computer screen and few laptops. This unit, Finnish Navy’s Archipelago Sea Naval Command was just lifted up. It was an old unit and command structure that was still on papers for situations. Like this.

-Can we get the whole Baltic Sea on the screen? And another screen beside it with this Åland area?

-Yes sir, we can split, I’ll take the TV from the hall.

-Ok. Fast. Please. And clear up a map table here in front. And bring some table lamps. Do we have a line to Sweden?

-Yes sir, secured and unsecured. Also satellite link is working. That big screen is showing now actually Swedish Navy’s intel at the moment. Our own intel is on this screen. I can combine these to the big one.

-Do that. And take of the civilian traffic for a moment.

The HQ’s personnel, all 12, looked at the screen. They saw a Russian Navy 13 ship strong convoy heading to Åland, 3 helos covering them, 12 Russian Su-27’s and 30’s buzzing around them. There was also two Russian EW and intel planes over Åland, one north, one south, two fighter patrols here and there, 3 fast attack Destroyer groups, two mine-layer groups one heading to Helsinki region, one to Åland. Also multiple smaller two or three ship strong groups pinging actively with their radars. And constant line of transport planes to Marienhamn, Åland…


Jolly Viking X files, deleted scenes, bonus tracks…

Jolly Viking part 12

” Åland. What the fuck happened at Åland? How did we not learn from Crimea? ”

Retired Commander of the Finnish Army, General Stunnberg in his memoirs 2021.


Åland was ancient archipelago between Finland and Sweden. It rise after Ice Age from the sea, just like most parts of Finland and Sweden. The first people arrived from west and south, it developed in the same phase as Sweden and Finland, Vikings had over 60 castles or similar there, there was plenty of seals, birds, fish and enough land to grow crops. When the modern age come, it was part of Sweden, like Finland. Or Russian Empire, the wars have been coming and going in these areas in history like a clockwork. The usual hour was 70 years. Or something like that. But that Island, or series of Islands was defenetly closer to Swedish culture than Finnish. They spoke Sweden, had Swedish traditions and wanted to be part of Sweden. They wanted to be part of Sweden but after WW2 when they realized that Finland protected them from Russia or USSR they find a mutual respect and United Nations had demilitarized it so Finland make it an autonomous region in Finland, the only one. It had its own Government, the Landskapsregering and own laws. They paid taxes to their own government, had many advantages in shipping, trade and tourism etc. The average income for a Åland citizen was good, Åland was the 20th wealthiest of the EU’s 268 regions, and the wealthiest in Finland, with a GDP per inhabitant 47% above the EU mean. So yeah, life was good there. And why not. So what the fuck happened?

Åland, Marienhamn Airport, 7th December 2017 zulu 0020

All looked like just two normal charter flights was coming in. Tourists from Kazakhstan, some wealthy millionaires have reserved a whole spa and village area over year ago. High class VIP persons and so on. Very usual business. Besides Åland has its own banks and were very active in international matters. Money doesn’t have a nationality they say… Customs officer Eva Eriksson was getting ready to stamp the passports, even it was late night, the local time was 01:20, she was smiling and the other customs worker, security guard was also relaxed and joking about Borat, in Swedish of course that the visitors wouldn’t understand he was making fun of them. Then suddenly some one yelled ”Jävla, vi har en bomb här!” and a loud bang and flash went off. The next thing was that Eva and the security guard had a 9mm Glock pistol on their foreheads and the VIP visitors stormed through the metal detector and around it with exposed western machine-gun MP5’s and start securing the airport like professionals. The guy holding Eva said in perfect Swedish that ”Nothing to worry my love, we are from Europol and we heard that terrorists are coming to hit here tonight, we are securing this place, you won’t be hurt. No show me the control room.” And Eva did what she was told. The security guard hesitated and demand some papers, with a Glock in his head… and the guy holding the gun took an Europol official Identification card from his pocket. Of course it was just a brilliant fake. But it did the job. The guard said that he can help them and start to show them places. Meanwhile the second group from the other plane was already storming in the Air traffic control tower. There was only two workers and after they were told that this was a Europol operation and Eva confirmed, they started to co-operate. The only guys that spoke, spoke pretty good Swedish. Others were quiet and used masks, all the usual secret operators stuff. Nothing indicated to Russia. At that moment…

Two Russian Navy transport planes had taken of from Levashevo military air field, Leningrad 40 minutes before. They had informed their route to Kaliningrad and used transponders and all normal stuff that they won’t alarm NATO to come and check them. But near Åland they switched all those off and dived low and went max speed toward Marienhamn. In 12 minutes they have landed there and emptied their cargo: heavy weapons, Russian stingers, rpg’s etc. and two companies of Russian Special Forces, Spetsnatz. And at that time in Pskov 6 Antonovs were loaded and airborne with a Battalion of VDV, Russian Elite soldiers, Parachuters. This was their recon and spearhead group, they had also with them BMD-3’s, some other small Russian APC’s and a lot of ammo. On their left and right side fled 4 Su-24’s with electronic jamming devices, chaffs and EW stuff to make those big birds disappear from radars. And another column of Antonov’s was behind them with same kinda escort. They fly low and fast. The NATO radar network was first confused, but since those were on international airspace, they thought it was just another transport flight to Kaliningrad. But near Åland those Big Birds suddenly gain some height and prepared to drop their troops to the fields north from Marienhamn, only 2km from the city. And then it suddenly was all too late. Russian Baltic Fleet ships near the region started their Electronic Warfare stuff, jammed radars, gave false targets, make whole sectors blind etc. And the cyber department from Moscow had implanted a genius attack against Finnish radars and make them nonoperational for several hours. And the Russian Air Force take of in big time, they suddenly scrambled 3 squadrons, also Russians scrambled normal empty passenger planes and full passenger planes with troops to Marienhamn. You can’t shoot down fighters flying next to passenger planes…


Åland Governor Peter Linblom had a letter few weeks earlier where was invitation to a meeting in Leningrad to talk about the possible second gas-pipe plans cross Baltic Sea. There was many important guys, like the former prime-minister Paavo Lipponen, Nordea Banks Nalle Wahlroos, Russian top bankers, ministers from different states and levels etc. Also with him was Åland’s monopoly betting company PAF’s CEO and Åland bankers. The meeting was very high-class, well Gasprom was multi-billion company and didn’t save on expenses on situations like these. After very nice dinner at the bar, or it was more like a collection of gold and ancient Rome statues in a low-key lightening with smell of exotic and rare wood, one Gasprom high rank guy approached him and started to talk about the possibly building of that gas pipe. That how hard it is, the supply routes from Leningrad were difficult at the winter, the middle Baltic Sea was difficult at high seas, that they would have a use for some building units to rent hotels and places to rest at the Åland Islands etc. Governor Lindblom was delighted and said that if the project will start, there’s no problem with that. Then the Gasprom guy started to talk about that they have also heavy equipment, machinery, ships and stuff that can use some harbor and dock space if Åland has anything that kinda stuff to offer. Lindblom started to see money piles in his eyes and said that of course, he will check and said that we can surely get a deal if the price is just right. The Gasprom guy smiled and said that money wasn’t their problem, it was the smallest problem in their company. Then they both laughed and ordered a second round.

-We have budget of 9600 million dollars for this pipe.

-That is some serious money mister Gubaroff.

-Oh just call me Petja. Yes, these things tend to be costly. But they also bring working places and helps economy, what you think?

-Certainly, indeed. That’s a good thing.

-Da. That kinda money needs several banks to cooperate also. You know, international project, Germany, Europe, Russia…

-Well, we have a banking sector also in Åland. And it’s quite big…

-Oh you do? How about… you are part of Finland, aren’t you?

-No no, we are autonomous. We have our own laws. In banking too. We are a special status area in European Union.

-Well goddamn. That might solve some problems we have…

-I can assure you that we are as tight in bank security as Switzerland is.

-Really? Wou. That sounds promising! You know, we have billions to transfer to other banks because of the payments systems and taxes and currency problems… you name it!

-Tell me about it! Yeah, we are very familiar with those questions. By the way that Nordea head Nalle Wahlroos is here, why not talk with… or nah, let’s talk with our bank leaders first, shall we?

-Sure, why not. Let’s have a meeting one day. We can fly to Marienhamn? Or you like to come to Leningrad?

-It’s all up to you Petja. When it suits you best. Here’s my card, let our secretaries schedule this okay?

-Harashoo. Sounds good. Now lets forget business. You have tasted our new black vodka by the way? It is awesome, let’s go to the best nightclub here! You should see the waitresses, they are like… can’t describe. C’mon davai davai!…

Now few weeks later he was waking up to roaring planes and some shooting. A special force unit was knocking his door. His dog was barking like mad. He was confused and cursed the Finnish military having a uninformed drill again… he went to the door and opened it. There was four guys with masks and full military gear that immediately rushed in and secured the place. At the door he stared Petja Gubareff who was in full military gear and had colonels stars on his shoulder. Russian colonels stars…

few hours later…

-And here is a letter from our Sergey Ivanov, Presidential Chief of Staff. You might know him, he was here last summer…

-Umh, oh that guy. He speaks fluent Swedish… should I open this?

-Yes, of course my friend Peter! It is for you!

They had some tea and a bottle of good brandy opened. Peter Lindblom looked quite shaky, he was totally surprised. Russian Army at Åland. Last time that was like… forever. He heard that this was a peace keeping drill, that the Finn’s have forgotten to tell him. They played to him president Niinistö’s phone-call about it and he was outraged, how can Finland not inform him…

-Is this letter real?

-Of course it is my friend. We can call him right away if you want!

-I mean that… this is some serious stuff. I don’t know if the international laws…

-International laws? You are an autonomous area, you can rule yourself. You have your own government. And Independent Åland… wouldn’t that be something people have always dreamed? Own money, own… everything. Think the possibilities. You would be a President. President.

-President. Yes. But President of a demilitarized Åland. We have no army…

-Did you read the letter? Russia will assure to Åland that it will secure its non-military status and come to help if needed. We will make this clear to Finland and Sweden and NATO.

-But then we are in a military pact? And that is not…

-…good? My friend. Look. The letter says that you… I mean Åland rents to Russia Föglö and Kökar islands. Those two little pieces, totally meaningless areas to you. You rent them to us for the construction of the new gas pipe, we need storage area and so on. We also put there some minor military elements to protect the construction and secure the Åland Islands also. Just some anti-aircraft missiles and maybe company or two infantry. We also will build new harbor and dock there, those construction ships need heavy supplies. And we will buy all our needs from Åland, like food, water, electricity…

-How much did you say that Russia is ready to pay rent?

-9 Billion dollars. And a 20 year deal. Your share will be 3%. That’s 270 million dollars.


-Well, it’s normality in Russia. Besides a President must be a wealthy man. How else he could be respected and rule his nation, eh? And did I mention that this doesn’t include the money coming from Gasprom? They are ready to invest 3 Billion to Åland Banks after it gets its Independence.

-Jävla… I need a drink…

-Think that you can say to all your people that they don’t need to pay taxes for 4 years after they vote Yes for the Independency. And that those Islands, Kökar and Föglö will be open for your people, they can still live there normally, all 800 people… yes, we counted.

-Can they also fish there, do they need passports or something…

-Of course they can Peter. And no, we need the passports my friend here. After all we are going to rent those, not buy. And when the gas pipe is ready, we don’t need those so much anymore.

-Jävla jävla jävla… how do you think we can arrange that kinda Independence movement or vote here? It has to be legal. I mean internationally legal…

-My friend, Peter. We have learned a lot from Crimea. It was a mistake. We should have  just stay on the Sevastopol rent deal and not occupy it. But now we have learned that things can be done differently. In the proper and legal way. You speak to your government, then you decide and speak to the people, we arrange a vote, call UN here and that’s it. Well, if UN doesn’t show up, we will find some legal organization to do it.

-What if my government hears about the 3%? They need money also?

-We make an offer to your government. That they get their share too. Like 0.5%? Or 1%? For each of course. You can say that you get the same deal. And the rent is paid with cash to your banks, 5 years at once, that is umhh… yes, it’s 2250 million dollars at once. Right after the vote.

-And 3% of that is 67,5 million…

-Yes it is. Quite serious money or what Peter? president Peter Lindblom…

-Holy shit. Shit. You know… I need to call my government here. Can you tell them the same thing you told me? Just forget the 3% part…

-Sure, no problem. Just wait a second…. Soldier!

-Yest colonel!

-Go get more brandy and some of that best caviar, snacks and fruits. We need to make this table look good for our guests, or what Peter?

-That’s… a very good idea. Thanks. Petja…

And so started a one hellova coup that nobody could never see coming. The rise of Nationalism and Corruption… Two Horseman was galloping over the Baltic Sea sky…

… – – – …

This is fiction… stay tuned… Iskanders on the way to Finnish soil… 😉

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Start from part one if you are new for this shit… 😉 >


Jolly Viking part 12

Jolly Viking, part 11


Luga 26th Missile Brigade 1529 zulu

-General, all launchers have new targets and are ready to launch!

-Yest. Now we wait for the final go. Give me the target list and timings… what’s this targets 23 and 24… oh suka, moving targets… updates coming and going to launchers?

-Da, every two seconds. They are big… and slow moving targets, sir!

-Okay, give me the handle. I’ll speak to the boys… 26th Missile Brigade soldiers! Very soon we will blow some serious steam. We will launch in intervals, wait for your number! Your Motherland will be proud of you, we will crush the enemy and force it to knees! This is what we are for! This is your General-Major Larimov. Out.

Timing. You would think that it’s just the same when the missiles hit, after all these targets were far away from each others and would get the same devastation… but this was the first strike. It’s psychological impact was as important as the physical one, actually it was much more… They planned to hit all targets at the same second. 24 four ton missiles with 800kg warheads coming from the sky at mach 7, you can’t hear those coming by the way, and blowing off at the same time will cause massive chaos in communications networks, emergency services, military, media, social media, international media, political decision-making… you just name it. It will show that the enemy can do almost what ever they want. And this Iskander missile had nuclear capability. But they were not planning to use nukes. Not yet. They have shown with the dirty bombs that they can do it and are ready for it, if needed. By contaminating the Lovisa nuclear plant area they blocked out the option that Finn’s could explode it against their advancing troops. And the psychological impact was huge. Finland just celebrated its 100th birthday and this whole Russian operation was bigger than Pearl Harbor. Nuclear holocaust was now in every Finns head. Iskander was a missile that could be controlled in all phases, from the launch till the target. It had its own decoys and electronic jamming capabilities, it could evade anti-ballistic missiles, but Finn’s didn’t have those. And NATO wouldn’t shoot those because… reasons. And the Finnish Air Defense’s best missile was AMRAAM, middle range missile, the land version. They have it also on the F-18 Hornets but those were on the way to Sweden. It had a kill probability of 59% against air targets but against mach 7 Iskanders… zero. Iskander was a single stage missile, it had mass over 4500kg, the energy at speed of 2100m/s even if the warhead doesn’t blow… was enormous. It’s bunker buster version had a hard metal penetrator and could get through 8 meters of concrete. They have also other goals with this strike… and there was two other Brigades with missiles ready at Carelian Isthmus and near Murmansk…

-General! Flash message, Moscow, category A! Launch, launch, launch!…

NATO HQ’s Brussels 1530 zulu

-Sir! Iskander launch, north of Luga, 26th Missile Brigade! All units, looks like a mass launch, yes, 24 missiles now heading at sector 292 – 329 to Finland!

-Alert all units, track, if they enter our NATO airspace, destroy! Inform Finland and… fuck, everyone! This can’t be hide…

-Yes, sir! All units, all units, this is not a drill, this is not a drill…

The NATO War room start to bust like never before. This didn’t happen even during the Cold War, no missiles were launch from USSR or Russia to Europe since… ever. And now 24 nuclear capable medium range missiles were flying towards Finland 2000km per hour. And their range was like 500km or more. The dots on the screen were now in reality under heavy radar pinging and tracking. Missiles send data from that via satellite and straight links back to Russia, it was giving a full report of everything around it in real-time. Real time. Real time to target one was roughly 17 minutes… no, 16…



Finnish Army HQ’s , secret bunker near Helsinki 1531 zulu

-Sir! Missiles heading from Luga region! Full launch! 24 missiles!

-Perkele, that must be some joke… show me!

-General here! On big screen now! That’s straight from NATO headquarters via Swedish link! Estimated flight time 16 minutes…

-Oh my God… if those had nuke heads… fuck. Where will those hit…

-Sir, we should sound the alarm.

-Alarm? Yes. Hit the button. Alarm everything. Every mother fucking thing! Try shooting them with something. And get ready, we are probably one of those targets… Mr. President, if I may, I would advise you to get the hell out of here with your crew. You have 15 minutes to get in that APC and drive fast away from this point, understand? We need command structure and here are now president and the head of army… shit the whole HQ…

-General Kaski… this bunker will hold? If we stay…

-No, this won’t hold a bunker buster. I urge you, please leave. Now!

-General, I’m very sorry for all this. I fucked up…

-Sauli. Run Perkele! Run!

-yes… of course… where’s my bodyguards? Fuck fuck fuck….

-Stunnberg, you should go also.

-General Kaski, I will stay here. There will be always some one leading this shit. You know that.

-24 missiles. They can wipe out our whole command structure if they know where we are.

-General, don’t worry about that now. Let’s try to save some civilians. Push the alarm in every city, coastline, television, radio, internet… all what there is. Now!

-Yes, sir. Sorry sir. Okay, Listen up! Use every channel we have, alert of missiles, they can hit anywhere, we have 14 minutes! Go Go Go! This is not a drill! Saatana! And stop calling your homes! We have a Nation to save! Captain there, call national broadcasting company, put the emergency alert running on TV… text: seek shelter, possible missile strike in south Finland, follow our updates, repeat seek shelter…

…and so in few minutes whole Finland was in a state of horror coma. Of course they thought it was going to be the end of World, a nuclear strike. Funny how people act when they lose the thin layer of civilization or social behavior on their gray layer on brains and start acting on the fear of death. It was horrible. Gun fanatics battled up and took on the street, those ”preppers” did the same but they had a plan, an individual own survival plan… they rushed with guns and cars to the markets, pharmacies, gas stations… Older people just locked their doors and stared the TV, younger people rushed into the net, facebook, whatever and started to yell, they filled internet with chaotic information and the next thing was that this popped up in all media centers and newsrooms in the World… Breaking… NATO has confirmed… and then there was those who rushed with their cameras and phones, periscopes, live feeds and whatevers to the streets and published everything. That moment… it became one of the biggest moments in media history…

Russia Moscow, NDCC Cyber Department 1530 zulu

General Topor was thriving. This was her dubstep. Information war dubstep. Death step. They actually played some psytrance and one of the screens was showing these fractals and bubbles and deep shit stuff. It was the new generation that ruled…

-Okay, Listen up! We have a launch! Push out operation ”Red Bear”! Social media, go for the ”Apocalypse!” theme, fill net with rumors of a nuclear attack, say that those are nukes! It will catch like fire! Time is now 1530 in London, it’s morning in USA and markets are opening! Let’s burn some money! Okay, spread rumors that the Russian oil lines from Baltic Sea are blocked and those missiles will cause gas and oil exports to drop 60% from Russia, we need to get the oil price up! Like skyrocket! Like a fucking Iskander, da!? Yeah! And keep Finnish net open! We need to get those booms and fireworks to the world! And remind that those are some bloody damn accurate missiles! And made in Russia! Okay, little green men now all over Finland! Keep that military coup shit up! We will get stuff were Finnish police is shooting looters and other similar, use that! And ethnic cleansing! Finns are now hunting Russian civilians in Finland! We will get that stuff soon too! …Oh what?

-I said we have already! Here’s video from Helsinki, some far-right people are beating two Russians on the street, hard-core, kicking on the head, bloody as fuck, one is woman…

-Great! Make that boom all over, route that to our media, that will be in category ”Breaking!”. Okay, we have 14 minutes to the Big Bang! Be ready, there will be stuff on Finnish facebook, twitter, whatevers and all over, take that shit and go for it! The World is going to shit its pants! This is our Bear roar! You don’t fuck the Bear, the Bear…

-…Fucks You!

They all shouted those last words and rushed to their posts. This was a fucking mayhem. This was going to be Natalya Topor’s Triumph. She will be the next Information Minister or what would they call that post anyway, in the next Russian government. That will show the arrogant British Londoners that who is who… fucking Rothamn’s Media Academy…

-Hey, you are the Swedish departments team leader?

-Yes, whats up?

-I’m coming with you, need to brief you more about the operation ”Side Step”

-Oh that. It’s up?

-They will go for it. Need to check some details. Some changes.

-Gotska Sandö?

-Da. It’s a bold fuck. Some bold fuck…

And so internet was starting to ripple and burn, routers were heating, pixels were flicking, millions of coolers pushing offices air hot making workers sweating, lithium batteries drying, slowly but steady the words ”What the fuck?” were filling the air… It was amazing how things that happen 10 000 miles away were suddenly in real-time, real time on your eyes and ears, and on millions of eyes and ears… there was already hundreds of live streams from Finland looking to the sky, alarms were sounding, people were yelling and chaos was burning. This was going to be mental Bonfire. Knife party. Road to Valhalla. Nobody want’s live forever. Some deep shit. Or as those base jumpers would say ”Super Cool” or something like that. Horror and chaos porn. Stuff that western media loves. Or the commercials love. Red Bull logo on a machine gun. The whole idea was use Western media and its weak point: click baiting, scandals, booms and bangs, sex against itself. And gain some serious points to Russia. To make it Big. They were already the bad guys so they thought that what the fuck, let’s be bad then in big time! But they had also another plan, to get oil prices raising, western economics in chaos and Russian reputation back to its feared and USSR era greatness. After those missiles will hit, all armies in the world will turn their heads to Russian military industries that made cheap bulk stuff but now have proven to make a damn accurate and working missile. Sad that it had to be Finland. But geopolitics has no emotions…


*secret* /A/2b
Target list A/26th/1.323/Finland 071217/MscwHQ/NDCC/GenShg/ ++final++
8/Helsinki/Pasila/YLE broadcasting
estimated hit time 2048mscw all warheads conventional,
except 8 *bunkerbuster*
=> no NATO targets / no NATO targets / no NATO targets <= 

The final target list came out of the printer. General Natalya Topor looked it and smiled. Some serious flames and in just few minutes. She looked at the big screen and the dots were flying steady like birds. On one screen was a live pict of one of the Iskanders, it was still pointing up on the dark sky but it steadily started to lower the angel and they see the black horizon against last rays of sun and the small light points down there some where. She checked the target number and the missile and it was heading to Kymi-river/Keltti. Then she realized that they were going to flood Kymi-river all the way down to Kotka, Baltic Sea… Sweet Lord our planners are some motherfucker geniuses, she thought and jumped on the table to see the screen better. Earth, Water and Fire.

Bonfire. That was her code-name in FSB…


… —…

…to be continued… stay tuned…

This is fiction, raw method one. With some hard facts. Deal with it. 😉

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Jolly Viking, part 11

Jolly Viking, part 10


Russia, Moscow NDCC War Room 1500 zulu.

Huge screen had a flaming Russian flag. It cross faded to a bird perspective picture, flying over vast forests and mountains, air was clear and you could see a part of the Eagles wing…

”Russija… eternal and strong, forever our home… one nation, under God and his will… time has come, our century is beginning… no emotions, no room for evil, simple it is…”

The voice over was like an old beer commercial, cowboy stuff. You could hear that the speaker had has his share of ethanol and cheap cigarettes. He was actually a famous actor Alexander Shirvindt… the picture cross-faded to strong images of Russian history, the ancient knights and heroic saints stuff, small clips of WW2 with pilots diving to attack, huge explosions and stuff…

”…if you poke the Bear, you will get the Bear… for thousand years, longer than any other, we have defend our Country… from those who want our precious soil, our Rodina, our beautiful Mother Rossija… and we have prevailed and we will…”

Now the clips and picts were from today’s stuff, rushing tanks, artillery batteries shooting, Uragans, Smerchs, Grads… nuclear missiles, fighters, low level bombings, destroyers launching missiles, subs and torpedoes, satellites, computers, parachuters shooting still in the air…

”…forever be loyal, it is the only way… one nation, one Kreml… strong and wise with the men of Gods and the World once again knows that the Bear… is alive and stronger than ever. Rossija. Eternal.”

The picture faded back to the sky. The Eagle was circling around Kreml in a beautiful sun rise and the Russian National Anthem started. The whole HQ at the War Room stand up and started to sing it. They were simply moved, perhaps the lunch before this with few hits of vodka was a good old trick to pull out emotions. And the huge screen with massive resolution, no pixels…

-My fellow comrades, you may sit. By the order of Russian Federation government, that has been ratified in Duma, I, the acting President of Russian Federation, Sergey Shoigu, have ordered a pre-emptive attack to South Finland to secure the peace at Finnish Gulf, Leningrad and south-Carelia areas. We had intel that Finn’s were massing heavy artillery and missiles there which could reach to Leningrad and our strategic targets like nuclear reactors and energy facilities. They were also trying to explode the canal that would have flooded Vyborg and cut our railroads, roads and cause massive damage to Leningrad. Our troops are taking care of that now.

People started to clap and cheer.

-We are also revenging the barbaric attack against our President Putin and the heart of our Military. Doctors are doing the best they can. At the attack died his bodyguard secret service Colonel Pasha Murmanov who was protecting our President with his body, another bodyguard Major Yaromir Uljanov, Defense department head of Staff, Guards General Evgeny Baryshev, Air Force General-lieutenant Timur Burmosov, deputy Emergency minister Janna Puchkova…

The screen was showing all these killed people in bloody closeups in a sterile room with names, birth dates and family status, wife, kids…

-…Moscow Metropolite, his Holiness Kliment III and two children, Vova and Natasha who were there to give President Putin flowers. And tens have been wounded. I order now a minute silence for our heroes who gave their life for our Motherland.

Lights went off, the screen showed all the dead persons and candles flaming in front of an Virgin Mary with Jesus child icon. The silence was deep. Someone tried to hide his crying. Geopolitics has no emotions. Another great Russian lie.


6th Army, 138th Guards Motor Rifle Brigade, 262nd Artillery Battalion near Vaalimaa 1510 zulu.

You couldn’t see the Battalion in the dark. It was hard even on daylight. They were hidden on the tree line and covered with nets and branches. You could hear them though, all kinda klonks and yells were in the air. Iron was heavy.

-Attention! We have fire orders! All to the guns, radio silence, use the wire taps! Davai davai!

The Battalion had 18 tracked artillery guns, 152mm Akatsiyas. They were in close line formation 4km from Finnish border near Laykhalampi. All started their engines, they need power for the hydraulics and electronics. 2nd Battery’s first gun was the reference gun. It would shoot first and the others were lined with that. First gun leader, Guard Sergeant Nusrajev put his tank driver helmet on and report to the Battalion commander he was ready.

-2nd Battery, first gun, full charge, illumination round, timing 36, side 28-76, 583!

-Illumination…36..28-76…583… loaded and ready sir!


The gun blasted a 40kg shell with speed of 500m/s up in a high angel, the blast wave and muzzle flame illuminated everything around it like a camera flash, it was just much more yellow. Or orange. That shell would burst up high, 1km or lower and then come down with a parachute illuminating a 1 square mile area for 40 seconds. It was going to burst roughly 10km inside Finnish territory. It didn’t have any real purpose actually. There was no targets there, yet. This was just 6th Army Commanders idea to draw attention away the Lappeenranta area.

-2nd battery, all guns, full charge, illumination, timing 38, side 28-73, 584!

6 guns, or actually howitzers, loaded and gave ready to fire reports.


Now the illumination and blast wave was just more massive. Also on the other side. The Battalion commander ordered the 1st Battery to shoot randomly illuminations closer to the border and the 3rd was waiting. After 10 rounds you need to cool the barrels for awhile and then he would use the 3rd. Finn’s could hear there outgoing booms near the border and would get very nervous. Also everyone will rush out and fill internet with pictures of those illumination rounds. At the same time EW Brigade would fly drones over the area, that would certainly draw the attention there. Well, you never know, something might pop up on that intel. Besides drone based fire observation needs training…


Vainikkala railway crossing point, 40km NE from Vaalimaa 1512 zulu

Finnish border guards open the gates to let the Finnish passenger train in. Before it stopped, VDV soldiers opened fire through the windows and opened doors against the Customs building and stormed in. They have made sure that the rail would be opened for them by informing that there was some Finn’s in the train that need urgent medical help. There really was Finn’s in the train, a group of 15 hold as hostages. As soon as they have cleared the building, the train moved on. The next train was just behind them and two companies from 4th Battalion jumped to take over the area. That train also moved on after they unloaded their war machines. And then rolled in the third train, 4th Guards Kantemirovska Tank Division’s 1st Regiment, 156 tanks, T-80’s. They just rolled it to the side tracks and tank crews started their engines. They have been all the way for last 60km inside their tanks with full ammo and fuel loads. They simply turned their tanks 90 degrees and drove off the trailer with turrets turned to point back. In 20 minutes whole Regiment except 5 damaged tanks was heading to Lappeenranta that was only 20km away. And the 2nd Regiment train just passed by, it was going 30km further to cut the main road and railroad to Lappeenranta. And the 3rd was arriving in 1 hour. The Finn’s had some pre-made trenches with machine guns and rpg’s around the custom building and deeper in the way to the village but Russian intel has spotted those hours ago and it was easy to wipe them out with straight tank hits. And the mechanized infantry was cleaning the pockets, every regiment has one battalion with them and Kantemirovskaya had added also extra engineering company to this 1st Regiment. Russia didn’t fear much of the Finnish Air Force, they knew they have very limited air to ground weaponry and they also ruled the sky with their overwhelming Anti-Aircraft missile arsenal and radars and EW Brigades. Besides it was simply too costly to send a fighter against a tank, the pilot was more valuable than a whole tank company. Still they had their AA units, two companies of Tunguska’s and one Tor with them, one company guarded the Vainikkala area, one company moved with the 1st. 3rd was with the HQ unit that was on the move with the 1st regiments 1st battalion. The 2nd was on the lead and in front of them was the recon company with civilian cars and the silent BRMD’s and some EW stuff. What they feared was mines and infantry. But since they have surprised Finns quite good, there was not even those. Just stunned civilians watching from their windows and taking videos and picts of them. But that was nothing to worry about now, they drove fast in the dark December freezy night, it was just 15 kilometers to the town.

-Sergeant, take a line to HQ’s!


Pskov VDV 76th Divisions Guards Communication Specialist Sergeant Tyartsev tapped some buttons and gave the handset to Major Lezye. The line went from the armored communication vehicle to the railroad.

-Adin tri nol, report, crossing point one secured 2030 Moscow time. Casualties one KIA, 4 WIA. Enemy losses 8 KIA, 4 WIA and 13 prisoners. Area clear for 25th MRB to arrive. 5 tanks are damaged on unloading.

-Yest. Is the bridge secured behind the south building?

-Da, there’s a checkpoint and two BMD’s. Also the alcohol storage is destroyed but the cigarettes we keep.

-Yest. You have earned them. Leave some to the 25th. We send helo to pick up the wounded.

-Yest. Adin tri nol, over.

Lonely drone flew over them in a darkening night. From east. It was own. Nashe.


Finland, road 3513, 17km from Vaalimaa, Russian border 1525 zulu.

Reserve Office School Captain Tervala was leading 6 trucks column filled with volunteer officer conscripts from anti-tank and engineers companies. They had 120 anti-tank mines, 50 anti-tank NLAW’s and a bunch of 66mm LAW’s. And personal weapons. Conscripts were loading their clips, two with armor piercing and tracers, others with full jackets. They were roughly a company. 72 men. Another similar group was pushing trough the civilian traffic few kilometers up north at road 7. They were formed from Reserve Officer Schools 1st and 2nd company. They had also fire observers and recons with them. Also other groups were formed, that school has all branches, Artillery, Anti-Aircraft, Engineers, Communications, Infantry, Recon… and they were all basic trained, gone trough special education and been in multiple drills already. And they got the spirit. When they asked for volunteers, only few said no. They had kids or other reasons, totally acceptable and they stay on the supply formations. That had to work also. But fucking hell they were scared. Sky was full of illumination rounds. They could hear the shooting Russian artillery in the clear cold December air, it has just been Finland’s 100th Birthday and here they were, thinking of Winter War. 20 year old boys. Or men. Or both.

-There is a tank regiment at Torfyanovka, that artillery is shooting from 4km from the border behind it. That whole Brigade is there, 138th. We are going to stop behind that hill, see that farm? Turn there and drive under the trees.

-Yes Captain.

The driver was Finnish Army warrant officer, one of the military trainers in the anti-tank company. They both knew very well the surroundings here. It was their job to know. On the other trucks was also a warrant officer or a officer from the School, they were making 6 teams, all lead by a one.

-Okay my brothers in arms, from now on, I am just Tervala. We have a job to do. Together. Unload the trucks, keep in air cover, get some spruce branches and make yourself well camoed. Listen and smell everything, there is Russian recon here, don’t use any lights, those illumination rounds will give us enough light. Understood?

-Yes… yes sir.

-Now fear. We all have it. But so does the others. Russian tanks burn good. And goes off with a big bang. You want to sit in a machine like that knowing that anywhere can be a angry Finn with anti-tank weapon?

Somebody laughed, it started to spread…

-…or angry mines? Okay, we have no own tanks on this area so any tank or BMP or similar is a target. Watch out for civilians, try to route them to safety. Use your radios only in real emergency. Remember the flare signals. You all leaved your cell phones to the barracks? And left then on? Good. Check that again from each others, one phone can kill us all.

-Sir, do we get back up?

-Back up is on it’s way. Battalion is formed in Kotka, it will arrive soon. We will have our drones feeding intel and artillery battery and heavy mortars will cover us in one hour.

-Our own?

-Yes, 122mm artillery battery and heavy mortar company from school. I will be the FO. Stinger teams are on the way, one platoon for us. We don’t have any copters on the area so all flying is a target. But don’t start shooting drones, it’s useless unless it is low. Use the armor piercing and tracers against helos. After you shoot, change your position.  If the helo is close, shoot it with the rpg.

-Guys, remember Ukraine. They are fighting like Lions. They have stopped Russian Army. Now it is our turn to take example. They took example of our Winter War, we are brothers with them now. Brothers in Arms. Hopefully NATO will join us in this fight. But that is not in our hands. Now lets show some Finnish Perkele!

-Perkele! To the end!

The group gathered their weapons, engineers took the mines and some rpg’s, anti-tank guys the rest. Silently they scattered to the dark forest. Like wolfs smelling blood…



Russia, Valaam Monastery 1555 zulu

Alexander Dugin was sitting in a small monk’s room dressed up like a one and writing his diary. He liked that and was actually part of the secret ”Modern Days Templars” organization that has members from all over the World, also Vatican. He was the Grand Master. They were a ”Hybrid collection of Traditionalists” or something like that. Collection of nut-heads and conspirators. They were actually a FSB operation and it wasn’t hard to recruit people from Church, any church, to this group that promised to restore ”God and Kings”, demolish the godless global village idea. Because these people didn’t want to loose their power and they all hate young people with their iPhone’s and Androids… ”God doesn’t need an iPad!” was one of their favorite slogans. Some said that that Breivik’s, the Norwegian far-right monsters ”Manifesto” was written by FSB. It had so much detailed information and deep knowledge that a one simple guy couldn’t do it. Some said that it was partly written by Dugin. But it was not a coincidence that they were very close with far-right. It was their ”street army” in Europe and Russia. And they openly dreamed of a revolution. And that was happening in Russia. Funny thing was that they  got Muslim friends. After all, Jesus was also a saint in Quran…

…Those foolish Finns. They have been asking themselves all the time that why in earth would Russia attack them. They have no oil, gas or another resources, they are peaceful people, they have good relationship with Russia and other parts of the World. They are advanced society in many levels and have strong mentality to defend their country… Yes, all of that is true. But once again a nation sees itself like a selfish person does: as a single creature that should concentrate on what is important for only him. And this is what we have couraged and this is how we control our east neighbors Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan and so on. And this is how we controlled Finland for years after WW2. We have tons of material of this stuff in the cellars, we have all the names and connections, we have made deep psychological analyses of the entire establishment, not hard, the nation is only 5 million people, the ruling class is only 1000 people. And we didn’t need to get the society behind our actions, all we needed to keep it isolated. Believing in its own strengths, trusting us and not seeing the big picture. The Big Picture. That Finland is the weak part of the chain, the chain of European Union. We are not attacking Finland. Just like we were not attacking only Ukraine, we are attacking West. We are breaking the West. We fear the West because we are weak. We have lost our soul, people don’t watch our movies, young generations listen some weird drug music and don’t believe in the God and the Holy Spirit. Pussy Riot is more popular in West than our singing Babushkas. Homosexuality is popular, that means lower birthrate, that means weak nation. We change this. We will restore ”Imperial Russia”, we will have order like USSR and the Glory of Empire.  Oh those Finns, they didn’t see that the route to kick down European Union was going through them. Of course we don’t attack NATO directly. They have nuclear deterrence. We give NATO a middle finger because we want Finns think that it is dangerous, that seeking membership is dangerous. And my God it has been easy. Some Finns have knew this all the time. But we have played a good friend for so many years that we are now inside the most pro-NATO party. We have so much money in Finnish Banks that if we pull that out, Finnish economy will collapse. I believe they are doing it right now. World is chaotic. Russia is chaotic. That needs to be controlled. Our greatest enemy is ourselves. There are those who dare to ask why and those who are strong enough to say shut the fuck up. Liberals in West, those annoying little children with their progressive thoughts, oh how easily the Pope stepped on our side. He understands the value of Tradition. And the power and wealth it has behind it. Christianity. Conservatism. Nationalism. Corruption. Our four horsemen…


 …to be continued… soon. 😉

… – – – …

This is fiction, raw method, with some bloody facts… sorry for not correct English, will be corrected on the run… with Love from Finland. 🙂 Follow updates on twitter >



Jolly Viking, part 10

Jolly Viking, part 9


Finland, near Helsinki, armored vehicle 1402 zulu

Finnish president Sauli Niinistö was sitting uncomfortable inside Finnish AMV with two fully geared military police, two body guards and his adjutant and secretary. They were heading to Finnish Army HQ’s but they were going slow, traffic was jammed and it was already dark. They had gas masks ready on their seats, the adjutant was checking radiation meters, AMV’s high pressure system, his side arm and ipad. They could hear from the radio that people were told to stay inside and that radiation is moving slowly towards west from Lovisa and that another dangerous are is spotted 10km from Helsinki to east. Secretary took her phone and started to call his friends about the radiation.

-Bloody hell, that’s classified information secretary! Shut the fuck up!

-But president that was on the radio…

-Yes, radio. Military radio! This is military now!

-Sir, it was public radio. But yes, this is military vehicle. I apologize. Sir.

Secretary and president looked each others like two cats ready to cause a mayhem but secretary was wise enough to cool down and started to send text messages instead.

-Adjutant Mäkinen, nothing new on that pad?

-Sir president, the cloud is small but it has many elements, strontium, uranium, americium, barium and some other minor elements. It looks like human made, no nuclear plant has that kinda cocktail in their arsenals. Meaning that this is not an accident.


-Well… what do you think Mr president?

-I need facts, I can’t guess things!

-We can’t approach the contaminated areas for weeks, internet is full of speculations and rumors, media is guessing all the time, they like to look professional…

-Professional? How about our Army? Looks very professional, takes me at gunpoint and blame me for Russia annexing Åland. Then says what the hell we have to do. I got this. But they bloody hell game and fucked things up. And my government is like kindergarten…

-Yes sir. Indeed sir.

-And you knew this all the time Mäkinen perkele, didn’t you?

-No sir. I have not a single clue.

-Fuck you. You are all the same. They betrayed Kekkonen also in 70’s. I know this shit.

Then he saw one of the armed soldiers looking at him and holding his MP5 little bit tighter. He opened his mouth to say something but went silent, coughed and started to stare out of the tiny window to the cold night that was coming… and an awkward horrible silent flew in that AMV from that window, like a black doubled headed bird made out of frozen oil… or something really fucking cold. The engine was roaring when the driver turned his 8X8 of from the road to go around traffic jam. Then the AMV turned back to main road and the tires were humming against the road. Then suddenly president Niinistö’s phone rang. Or it started to play Russia’s National Anthem…

-Bloody Hell, that’s Vladimir’s number! Where the hell is my phone, I need to…

-Sir, in your left pocket inside the jacket.

-Oh yes, here… everyone shut up, this is important… Hello, hello… this is Sauli… is this you, Vladimir? Putin, president of Russia? …I am so glad to hear your voice, Vladimirovitsh, you are for God’s sake alive!… what, little bit bad connection here… we are in a tank. What? Invading Russia? No no no, dear Vladimir we have totally different information here in Finland… what.. it was sarcasm? I got it ha ha ha… you are funny as always… in hospital? Yes I heard about the explosion. No, it was not my job. You arrested Finns doing it? Well, you know that they were guys working for you remember? …double agents? Dear Vladimir, you know we don’t do stuff like that. We are honest people. We have no secrets. Unlike others… no no, I trust you, believe me I was meaning like some some… umh… other countries u know ha ha ha… Yes. Sarcasm. So what is this that you have Army on my border and Shoigu is u now, I mean president? …can’t talk too long? In pain, okay say fast then, what? A coup? Military coup at Kremlin and you are in a secret hospital complex protected by your loyal guys? Oh my good that is terrible, I can feel you bro, I can feel you… no, not the pain. Good morphine? That is good, they will heal you. So you have no power in Russia, I mean command of the Army? You have? How? Shoigu is your guy?! You knew this was coming? Oh I am glad to hear that! So you are not going to attack Finland? …what do you mean depends… of what?! oh sarcasm…ha ha ha…harashoo Vlad, so you will call them of and we can also call our troops of? We don’t have troops… don’t say that, we have a lot of troops! We have like… okay, you got me, we have not so much troops… we have great hockey? Yes Vlad, good hockey. Peace hockey. So, when Shoigu is pulling of troops? Right now? Already? And Åland? That also? Wonderful! Can I say this to media? Not now? Ah, understand, security. Okay, you need rest, can I call you… understand da harashoo, you contact me. Well, Get well soon! Glad this is getting resolved! Dasvidanja Vladimir, dasvidanja!

-Did you hear that, did you fucking hear that!? This is going to end well, I’m going to handle this from now on. Driver! get to the HQ’s and drive like Räikkönen!

-Yes sir!


Finnish Army HQ, secret command bunker, near Helsinki 1452 zulu.

General Kaski was giving the latest situation report for his staff. Three screens were showing the activities over Finland, Baltic Sea and West Russia. People looked pale and shaky. This was the first time since 1940’s that Finland was really in war. War. That’s what the military said, and they were right. They didn’t use political jargon when discussing about matters, their thinking based on facts, not gaining popularity or voters.

-We have linked our radar data base to Swedish one and Norway is feeding us data also. NATO is feeding Sweden so we have valuable stuff from there too. As you can see, Baltic Sea is filed with Russian stuff. They have 70% of their Baltic Fleet north of Gotland. One sub and destroyer is heading to Danish Straits. Our sea routes are blocked, we can use only the coast line, don’t want to give them easy targets. We use our radars just in surveillance mode at the moment, Russian Air Force hasn’t cross our borders except in Åland. But they have done multiple false attacks and pulled their aircraft just before the border away. They want us to reveal our radars with that stuff. We believe that the radioactive attack was done by some GRU special operations, possible cruise missile or drone stuff. Or land based units. Lovisa Nuclear plant is now evacuated and is in safe mode. It should keep itself cool but there is some volunteers from the workers holding the controls, hope they last long enough. The other nuclear cloud is not big and is not heading anymore to Helsinki. But people are in panic and we need to arrange evacuations. Russia is flying heavily at the Baltic Sea, they are still feeding Marienhamn with constant transport activity and also new report that they might have the S-400 already there hot and ready. Sweden has been tracking 4 Ropucha class transport ships and said that they possibly are carrying Iskanders. They are checking the possibility of nuclear versions of those…

-Sir, president Niinistö is on his way, 5 minutes and he is here.

-Thank you captain.

-Also this just came in…

-Show me… Russian helicopters spotted over the border, heading to Lappeenranta, Finnish Air Force markings. Do we have Mi-24’s, repeat Do we have Mi-24 Hinds? …what’s this? Where did this came from?

-Sir, from border guards at Nuijamaa. They were flying low, they didn’t open fire when they saw our markings. The Hind’s didn’t also shoot. They counted 13 plus copters.

-Bloody hell, Air Force, do we have something that you forget to tell?

-No, we don’t have any of those. We have some old Mi-8’s but they are at Utti now. And we are not flying on that area right now.

-Fuck. This is it. They are dropping recon and first groups inside. Lappeenranta… yes, the canal. They want take that under control. Alert Lappeenranta units and rush to the canal! Take all you got and tell border to empty the main road, lay mines and prepare first defense. They will send land troops ASAP to get through. And get counter battery radars ready, they might use them also! Do we have any ready artillery there? One battery of 122mm? Useless. Load anti-tank and stingers, hit them from side. Colonel, we have a plan for this, do we? It’s some where on the file D… General Stunnberg, what do you think?

-Let’s wait that it will be confirmed. What if they just poke in and test, turn around and monitor our reaction? No shots fired yet?

-Yes, they might be aliens or something… General, may we still go on this? I mean…

-Sir, our radars have managed to ping also low level helo’s on both sides of the channel, possibly Ka’s. And over Svetogorsk, heading to Imatra.

-Yes, Russian aliens… General Kaski, order counter measures. Open fire, do what you have to do.

-HQ’s, we are now in state of war. Battle-stations, prepare your troops or what you have…

-Wait wait wait! I’m the President! I order you to stop!

President Niinistö rushed into the HQ’s with his crew. All stopped, some tried to make a salute, some one dropped a coffee mug.

-I have spoken to Russian president Mr Putin. He has promised peace. He has ordered his troops to retreat.

-But… but sir, Russia is attacking us right now, they have crossed the border with three helo groups!

-Are you sure? Show me.

-Here, look these reports! They are using our markings, flying low, heading to Saimaa channel, that’s…

-Our markings? Could it be a mistake? Our own helicopters? Have they shoot?

-No, they haven’t shoot. But…

-Shut up now General Kaski. I have just a phone conversation with legal president of Russia, Mr Putin. My staff can confirm, they all hear it. We promised to not start war.

-Sir, if I may remind you, you are not the head of the Army, General Stunnberg is.

-No, but I am head of this country and I negotiate with other presidents. I order you to stop hostilities. Now.

Generals Stunnberg looked adjutant Mäkinen who node that Sauli was speaking truth.

-Alright, I order you all stop. I repeat, don’t do anything, wait for orders! Now mr president, if you may, we would like to have some more proof, did you record the phone call? Can we hear that?

-It is confidential, for security reasons. But yes, I record all my phone-calls. But you may not hear it.

-But your staff heard it, colonel Mäkinen, can you confirm?

-Yes, sir General, I heard the presidents part and it is solid.

-So Putin isn’t dead? And Shoigu isn’t the president of Russia? Shouldn’t you be speaking to Shoigu instead?

-Sir, another report of Russian helo’s!

-Not now, just track them.

-Generals, the thing is that Russia is under Putin’s control. He is the legal leader of that country. He called me from hospital. He wanted to prevent this and gave his word.

-So how do you explain these helicopters my president?

-Maybe it’s just mistake. They haven’t shoot? So they are just taking a look that we are not massing Army to the border?

-Sir, we barely have troops to defend Helsinki, we have only handful of men at the border…

-Like I said, we have Putin’s word. Some spilling might happen but we must make sure that we won’t drift into war. We can’t negotiate about Åland situation in war.

-But president, what about the radiation attacks? That was clearly some Russian work…

-We don’t know yet. Terrorists are every where.

-Did Putin told you that also?

-You getting smart with me General? Okay, I’ll play you all a small part of the phone call with mr Putin. Just a second… secretary, can you please… thank you… just from the start…

”Allo, is Sauli there? The Finnish president? Kak? Can’t hear you?… what, in a tank? Attacking us?… no no, it was joke. Pasahlsta. Listen… I’m in hospital…yes, bomb…”

-…thank you secretary, that’s enough.

-Sir, we can’t prevent civilians from shooting those Russian copters.

-Then I need to speak in the radio. And you can give orders on television. Internet is working also, isn’t it?

-Yes it is.

-Good, you see that Russia can’t be behind everything if our internet is working too.

-Sir. There is a protocol that needs to be used in situations like this.

-Protocol? I am the protocol! Enough with that nonsense!

-Sir I mean that we verify the number and check that he has given the order to some one else and media. It must be public, otherwise it is useless.

-Look, situation in Russia is at the moment more against… well, let’s say like this, he can’t go public, he is under treatment and medications. He is wounded. We can go public and we must to give the right signal that we did not attack Putin with a bomb. Starting hostilities will just make us look more the bad guy.

-We… the bad guy? Mr president….

-It gives us the upper hand in negotiations. World will see that we are for peace. We can still avoid this war.

-Are you saying that we let Russia invade the whole country and then we start negotiating for peace Mr president?

-No! I’m saying we prevent them invading and then negotiate!

-Sir, you should see this, here’s a video of our troops securing the gates of the channel in Lappeenranta. It’s on youtube.

-Let’s see… bloody fast work! Good job from our guys! Send them message… hold positions, be aware of possible helicopters on the area, good job.

6th Army operational HQ’s, Russia Vyborg 1507 zulu

-General-Major Kuralenko, we have message ”Koroljev has the butter”.

-Excellent, any incidents?

-Not so far, looks like the bluff went through.

-Ha ha ha… you see, they are slow. Besides we… oh, nothing. Forget that. Good job from Koroljev. Now send the special regiments and the VDV train. Oh wait, let Vladimir call first… Vladimir! Davai davai!

Funny looking guy with civilian clothing ran to Kuralenko. He had smirk smile.

-Yes General?

-Now call president Niinistö again and say that you want to let some trapped Finnish people come over the border, that they will come with the Finnish passenger train at Vainikkala and some evacuated Finn’s which will come by your military trucks. Say that they are evacuated because some Russians have threatened them with violence. Remember the Svetogorsk point also.

-Da General, ja Vladimir Vladimirovitsh Putin… allo, allo… testing… adin, dva…

-Go do it somewhere… well, you know, you are in hospital you remember?

-Da da… ja snaju…

He left and was walking like Putin, hand in one pocket and training his imitation on the way.

-Call the staff. We are going in. Time for orders.


Colonel took a whistle from his pocket and blow three times. People came in quick march and gathered in front of the huge maps at the bunker. Colonel  took his war face…

-Head Quarters… smirna! General-Major Kuralenko, 6th Guards Combined Arms Army Head Quarters ready for your orders, sir!

-Polna. The time has come. President Shoigu has given me orders to cross the Finnish border. Our first groups are inside and without any casualties. In few minutes our first special regiments go over at Nuijamaa and Svetogorsk. We don’t expect heavy resistance, if not at all. Remember, we are polite people…

All started to laugh…

-…yes, very polite, we are going there to secure peace. To save Finns from the Fascist coup and prevent a war between them and us. Remember that. Avoid civilian casualties. Let them shoot first. We might took some hits, also heavy ones. But that is war. And those hits make us stronger. We make them pay of course. They were after all trying to sneak into NATO just like the Swedish bastards. But they will be peace drilled also. We have some slight changes, colonel will tell them to you after this. We hit them with few Iskanders on the rear, show them that resistance is futile. Also our Air Force will do heavy patrol flights over the cities, let them feel fear. If everything goes by the plan, in the morning we are at Kymijoki. Our intel reports that Finnish Army has managed to get up only few battalions, but be careful, there is some special troops here and there, they might try some guerrilla stuff. Try to take them as prisoners, if not, just wipe them out. Now what comes to the…

Luga Russia, 300km from Helsinki, 1505 zulu.

General-Major Larimov was standing over a map. He was pointing 16 circles over south Finland to his commanding officers.

-Here are our targets. 8 targets will get two missiles, they are marked with double circles. Hit these as soon as your launchers are ready. After launching, move to next launch positions, re-loaders are there. They are very well camouflaged. We have also two other launch positions if things get busy. The other missile brigades will hit later. Air Defense is fully alerted all the time. Launch coordinates have been send to your launchers. Any questions?

-No sir!

-Alright, this is it. Davai, let’s do some rockenroll. Battle stations!

Larimov light a cigarette and sit down to a wooden ammo box and started to listen the radio traffic that increased like hell. ”Suka bljat, have mercy on our poor souls…” he thought and hold the lighter in his sweaty palm…


…to be continued…

… – – – …

This is fiction, raw text… fiction with some bloody facts…






Jolly Viking, part 9